I have to put my opinion out there regarding transgender surgeries for minors. I think it is a mistake to allow a minor to have any kind of gender changing surgery or procedures. There are too many variables at play when a kid is growing up to risk doing any gender reassignments. While I sympathize with the kids who are going through it, I believe it is part of your experience growing as a person. It’s not easy getting used to being yourself when you are different, or unpopular, or just plain gay. It’s a very hard road, but it makes you a better person for going through it. It makes your more tolerant of other people, makes you understand that while you may think you know the story, there can always be stories under the surface that you don’t know.

Being gay even in today’s world is difficult. While society may be a little more tolerant of the LBGT situation as a whole, there are still a ton of haters out there waiting to make your life miserable. And they will, given the chance to do so. It angers me that people who are “good churchgoing, God-fearing Christians” can spout so much hate in the name of the Lord. If you’ve ever read the Bible, and I have, cover to cover, twice, you realize God doesn’t want you to take matters into your own hands, that’s His job, He doesn’t need your help. He’s been doing this a long time. You will also note that while Old Testament God was a bit on the strict side, when Jesus came along, he preached more tolerance and forgiveness. He taught the message of love. As parents isn’t that what we want our kids to be? Better than us? They don’t get better without your support. If you are going to a church that still preaches you are going to hell if you’re gay, change churches. The one you are going to preaches hate and that is definitely the wrong direction. You want to know who I believe ends up in hell? Those exact intolerant, evil, hating people. There’s a special section for you guys in hell, and forgive me for saying so, but you deserve everything you get.

If you are one of these LBGT kids growing up in this world, hang in there, it gets better as you become an adult. Not that the haters stop hating, they never do, that’s their parents’ fault. They don’t raise them correctly. They probably come from a household where gay is a very bad word and they’ve probably heard comments like “what are you a fag!?” when they didn’t catch a football or hit a baseball far enough. Believe me I’ve heard so many things over the course of my life that, while I should have been offended, I felt sorrier for the kids than anything knowing full well how those comments hurt and create a mindset toward intolerance.

But it is my belief that until a child turns 18, there should not be any kind of gender reassignment. They don’t even know who they are before that, and to be honest I think the law should be not before you turn 21. While 18 is considered adulthood, you’re still a teenager. It gives you a chance to learn who you are and what you believe in. What motivates you. You are not doing a child any favors by letting them make life-changing decisions while they are minors. I realize that families are trying to do what they think is right by their children, but you have to give them a chance to be themselves first. It’s fine to be supportive, great to be that parent who just wants their kids to be happy but let them experience some life before you go making life altering decisions for them.

If you want to do something, start a savings account for your trans kid so they can have the money they need to get what they want done when they are old enough. That is a definite show of support. Or, if they decide they like who they are, they can use the money for any other wonderful purpose, college, wedding, etc., etc. Support your kids, be there for them no matter where the road goes, even if you don’t like it. Parental support goes a long way to building kids that want to succeed, that want to learn, that want to be all that they can. That lack of support from parents who hate can be the downfall of your child. Dropping out of school, living on the streets because the abuse at home is too much, and it gets worse, much worse. Be a parent, be a friend, be a shoulder for them to lean on when they’ve had a particularly bad day. And if you are one of those haters who think things like “If my kid ever says he/she is gay I’ll kill them and bury them in the back yard or throw them out of my house and never acknowledge their existence again” do us all a favor, get yourself sterilized, you shouldn’t be a parent, ever!!!!! You don’t have what it takes. Get a pet. Stay away from children, they don’t need to be exposed to your hate. And don’t use the name of God in your hate speech, you might be very surprised at what you find on the other side when you get there.

Typical gender reassignment surgery can cost upwards of $100,000 for the full procedure. By starting a savings account for your child, you are showing them that you support their wish to be who they are, and at the same time you are making them aware of the implications and the costs associated with the surgeries. And be aware that doesn’t include costs for hormone therapy or recovery from surgeries, a great time to have your child focus on school (hint, hint) so they can get a good job with good benefits to help with the costs. And now you’re being the best Mom/Dad ever. You can secretly hope and pray that your child becomes comfortable in their own skin in the meantime, but if not, you’ve helped give them a leg up on their decision while being supportive and realistic. Children don’t need to be coddled on these decisions, they need to be involved, they need to be shown the truth about the procedures and what they entail. You don’t want to use these tactics to scare your child straight, you just want to give them the facts. Kids are smarter than we give them credit for, they understand more than you think, and with today’s technology at their fingertips, they can understand everything or at least get a good handle on it.