This may sound a little controversial but over time it is what I’ve come to believe. Hopefully someone reading this will find some comfort in what I have to say. We’ve all heard someone say that another person is “an old soul” someone who fits like a comfortable slipper. Some people are these very old souls, they are usually champions against injustice towards anyone, they usually have such tolerance that you wonder where they get the strength, and it seems like every word coming out of their mouths makes sense. I knew one of these people once, and I remember constantly thinking that I want to be just like you. Lord knows I’ve tried but did I make it? I don’t think I have yet, but I’m striving in the right direction. I want to be one of those people.

I have been Catholic (was actually an altar boy), Born Again Christian, Baptist, and now I am agnostic. I definitely believe in God, just some of the teachings and behaviors of these religions leads me to believe they’ve gotten it wrong. So for me, no organized religion. I talk to God on a regular basis but it’s not in the cards for me to follow someone else’s interpretation of what God is. I completely believe in the afterlife, I have seen things that make me believe that it isn’t over once the light goes out. I have literally seen spirits, the first was an old couple who lived right next door to my best friend at the time. They were a very nice older couple, been together for 40-50 years, typical best friends and partners. The wife had recently passed on, and my friend and I were sitting on his front steps which faced the front steps of the couple’s home. The driveways to the houses sat side by side. As we sat there and the sun faded, the husband pulled up in his car headlights on, and as I watched him pull up I saw his wife sitting in the passenger seat beside him. I was having trouble swallowing that so I asked my friend, who was staring too, did he see what I saw? He said “Do you see his wife in the car with him?” I said yes. She’s sitting right there in the passenger seat, white and see through as we see other spirits, but it was definitely her. He turned off the headlights opened the door, the interior light in the car came on and she was gone. But we both saw her sitting there. It was not my friends first time seeing a spirit, but it was mine. He had seen an American Indian spirit where he used to live standing on top of a building with his hand over his eyes like it was sunny (it was dark) or like he was looking for something over a long distance. While that was not the only instance where I’ve had to deal with spirits in my life, it’s the only time I physically saw one. We told his Mom what we had seen, she said “She’s probably waiting for her husband, couples like that tend to pass quite close to each other, she’s probably just waiting for him.” Very matter-of-factly. And sure enough, he passed about three months after her.

Now back to what I believe. Many things have led me to this conclusion, I have weighed the evidence, looked at what I know to be fact, added what I believe because it feels right in my heart of hearts, and came up with this: I think we keep coming back until we experience everything, and until we get it right as human beings. When we pass through life with empathy, courage, forgiveness, tolerance, and a kind ear, I think we’re almost at the finish line. Forgiveness is one I wrestle with, if you hurt me {I mean really hurt me} I’m not very quick to forgive. I remember for a long time. That’s something I am working on personally. But I do believe that you come back until you get it right. I believe experiencing everything is part of the key, you have to be rich, poor, handicapped, male, female, etc., etc. until you get it right. I believe it makes you a well-rounded person in the end. I don’t necessarily believe in reincarnation per se’, I think this is more of a scheduled thing, but it all depends on you. The more of a human being you become, the better you become towards your fellow man, the farther down the line you go. Do we mess up? Yes, and I’m sure we know when we’ve done something against our fellow man that counts against us. Guilt is that marker. If you feel guilt, you probably own the thing you feel guilt over.

God listens. I know some people won’t believe it, but as a teenager I had some things that I dealt with (like many of us do) and I needed my friend God. I always envisioned Jesus as the person who was listening and walking with me. I would take long walks at night, through a local park and just talk things over, sure I would wish for outcomes that served me, but to be realistic, the answers I got were not always what I wanted but they are what makes me the person I am today. And while at the time I might have not liked the outcome, I am thankful for the person they have made me and the lessons they have taught me.

If you go through life being a hateful son of a bitch, you’ve probably got a long road ahead before you reach the end. Then there are those who when they are gone leave a gaping hole in the lives of so many people, that’s impressive. Are they perfect? No. They’ve just reached that plateau that made them such a rare human being that almost everyone loves. That’s where all of us need to strive to be…that human being whom everyone looks up to and admires on the whole.

Do your best to improve yourself, get rid of any hate you have or feel, be a supportive force in the world even if you only affect those in your immediate circle it all makes a difference. Forgive those who have wronged you (you don’t have to forget as they saying goes, probably better that you don’t) but learn to forgive people for what they’ve done if you can. Be a humanitarian, you don’t have to champion every cause under the sun, but fight for those you truly believe in, it carries weight and makes a difference. And don’t give up if you don’t win, try harder, and keep on pushing, it’s worth every ounce of effort you give. Just be a good person, it really is that simple, and yet sometimes a very hard thing to accomplish.

Do I think I’m an old soul? While I would like to believe that, certain factors in my life lead me to believe that I still have some growing and learning to do. Do I think I’ll be back again after this, I have to say yes, I don’t think I’m done yet. Would I like to move on to heaven and be done with this, yes, but being realistic I have to admit that some of my prejudices and the way I feel about certain things is not the way God wants, so yes, I’ll be back. I think. And rightfully so. Imagine if you will how absolutely full of souls heaven would be if everyone who has died is there. In just numbers alone, my assumption makes sense. Recycle people until they get it right.

And I also believe that there are people who never get it right. That’s why our sides split so heavily. The haters who have been haters in every past life they’ve endured continue to hate and keep coming back. That’s why we have such division in our world, they never go away, and they get more dug in to their hate and intolerance with every go around. The devil’s work? Maybe so, who knows. Oh, and by the way I do believe in him too. Very much so. He works hard to try and mess you up on each go around. The longer he keeps you in the tube the more chance you have to become bitter in each go around and aid him in his efforts to keep souls on earth.

The bottom line is, be human folks, be the best human being you can be. Utilize all of the tools you have to be a champion of people, to be compassionate, to be loving, to be the person we all believe we can be in our hearts. Do your best, and read the Desiderata (my first post after the introduction, it’s a great life map). Good luck out there!